Thoughts of my beloved Pt.3

Painting by Leonid Afremov

I was waiting all this while for my beloved to return to me . But then he informed me last night that he will be gone for some more time. A sudden sadness seizes me. A stinging pain sears my heart. I start to miss him all the more. It was as if this waiting for him to come back was also making my heart and mind to hold back in anticipation. Anticipating his return. It was a joy held tightly to my chest waiting to be released when he returned. It was only a few days that we had known each other and he had to go abroad. My heart had grown fonder with all the elated feelings of love for my loved one during his absence. So this desire to behold him and express all my emotions held up in my heart so far. And do the most cliched thing of rushing into his arms. Beseech him to love me in a way that it is both pain and pleasure at the same time. Search and discover in each other’s eyes the depths of the feelings perhaps unknown to us even now.

I wondered at this sudden surge of emotions which threatens to turn into a deluge and upstage me. I want better control over my emotions. I am afraid to let go of my emotions. But then I want to float away and I want to be flooded by them. It would be so good and be a source of such pleasure and utmost happiness. Well, he sang me a love song, expressing a longing for the beloved, over the phone. I was so very happy to hear it. I knew then that he felt the same way as me. It pulled at my heart strings. It made me realize that we felt the same love and longing for each other. We were on the same page. I await his return .

My beloved, this is dedicated to you.

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